Last year, my husband gave me a copy of the nifty little book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and it's all small stuff. While I appreicated the gift and knew it's popularity had earned it a spot on the best-seller list, I'm suspicious of any self-help book given as a giftcould this be a thinly-veiled attempt to "improve" me? The author (a guy) certainly had some thought-provoking chapters ("When In Doubt About Whose Turn It Is To Take Out The Trash, Go Ahead And Take It Out," "Imagine The People In Your Life As Tiny Infants," and "Nurture A Plant"), but the whole theme of the book was that life was too short to worry about all of the little things that come upbetter to let them take care of themselves or just not get done. After reading the book, I was certain that my husband secrectly hoped that I might suddenly chill out, letting him relax in his easy chair with the evening paper, without me asking him to take care of an endlessly long list of "small stuff."

Horses (like women) intuitively know how important it is to sweat the small stuffwhich is why I think we tend to get along so swimmingly. If we don't sweat the small stuff no one else will.

Here's an example: Nick, my large spotted gelding finds it most upsetting to have his food tub moved. It's a small matter, but Nick knows what he likes and sees no reason to change. And, although my husband has a zen-like approach to life, he too would be dismayed if his supper was moved from one side of the kitchen to another without reason. If I served him alfalfa pellets for dinner you can bet he'd be start sweating the small stuff.

Horses, like children and husbands, like to be fed at the same time every day. It seems like small stuff, but they get cranky, irregular, (and worse) when faced with unpredictable schedules and "creative" meals, such as toast for dinner. When I dare sleep in on the weekend, my husband and small daughter have reluctantly learned to fend for themselves. Left to their own devices, the horses would use the self-serve technique, too. However, they have not yet learned to open their stall doors (thank goodness) and dish out the appropriate portions of supplements. Because horses can do a lot of damage when they're hungry, I never sleep past 9:00 a.m. Accordingly, I've learned to live a life of moderation, knowing man and beast will not leave me to sleep off the prior evening's indulgences. I suppose I should be thankful.

Yes, horses like predictability and hate surprises. There are valid reasons for this. In the horse world, caution can mean the difference between life and death. That paper bag blowing past the riding arena could contain a lethal weapon. The tabby cat scooting across the pasture could be a small, rabid wolf in feline clothing. Is that a shrew in his mouth, or a hoof pick? A horse can never be too careful. Which is why, yes, the small stuff can be worth sweating. Just because you weigh 1,200 pounds doesn't mean something small can't get you!

As mentioned earlier, I believe one of the reasons why women get along so well with horses is that we tend to sweat the small stuff, too. Like mares, women are responsible for the well-being of the herd. The small things (lunch in the backpack, having a jacket on a rainy day, being on time for the school bus) are important in the lives we are responsible for. Life is made up of lots of small stuffthe art is in how we juggle it.

I've stopped owning mares, becauselike methey tend to be so concerned with the small stuff. When riding, I think it's nice if one of the two partners remains focused on their work. My own mare was so "outwardly focused" that riding her on a bad day was an exercise in futility. A robin flying overhead would cause her to flinch; a red-tailed hawk was cause for a death-defying shy across the arena.

While I appreciated her need for self-preservation, my mare's fight or flight instincts sometimes got out of hand. The night I brought her home for the first time she began doing laps around me in the stall. I stood holding the lead rope, watching her dig a rut in the footing, waiting for her to tire herself out. John, ever helpful in the way of horses, called out, "Get out of there, it looks dangerous." Several hundred laps later, the mare finally tired enough to let me remove her halter and escape intact. She was taking no chances in her new environment. I now own geldings.

Geldings (like husbands) don't need to sweat the small stuff. They can afford to rest easy, knowing the mares are in charge. Geldings look after themselves; if they can find the next meal, they're happykind of like the guy I married. I admit there's something comforting in this: it allows me to be the moody one in the relationship (marital and equine); it's a role I'm comfortable with. On the other hand, if there's small stuff to sweat, guess who does the sweating?

While men may say they don't want their women to sweat the small stuff, in fact, they count on it. Like the species equus, homo sapiens continues to exist because the females have and will continue to pay attention to the "small" matters such as protecting the safety of the herd. If it has its down side (like fewer hours spent on the couch relaxing), think of the greater good of the species.